You heard everyone says; be kind to others and yourself. Easy to say, but to act on it, that takes some effort.
Of course, we all want to act kindly to others, we all have good intentions and do not purposely want to hurt other people. But in reality, sometimes the opposite happened.
This week, it was one of the hard weeks for me in term of work. My project had some issues hence additional remediation and constant changes were needed to resolve the issues. After series of irregular sleep at night due to sudden phone calls at odd hours, the pressure from the operations people started getting in under my skin. I tried to regulate my emotions. Well…. that didn’t last until Friday morning when I had my morning coffee, my superintendent called me and rushing me. I like the guy, sincerely and will do things together with him. But that Friday morning I blew off. We hang up, I told him ” go and play golf and let me do the procedure in peace”. Mmmmm
That Friday afternoon, the Kimchi Klub – Foodie group that was created a while back was scheduled to go for Korean Restaurant BORI, which is my favorite. After calming myself with exercise, I was looking forward to my lunch with the Klub to distract me from my work.
Well…….. the opposite happened, My best friend was in a sour mood; her reason was due to the second shots of the Vaccine. I was a bit annoyed because she was a bit short-tempered that day, inside my head ” should not need to proceed with the lunch if you are not feeling well”. Of course, I didn’t say it, she is one of my good friends. I tried to keep the mood and conversation very light. She gave that look to one of my fave food – Kimchi. How could she? Knowing that it is my fave food, yet she was making faces. Nevertheless, I hold myself together and not saying a word. God knows what will happen if I open my mouth.
Attentively listening to her, she opened up about her morning with one of the executives from our company ( we work in the same company by the way). Long story short, her request for working remotely was not granted immediately but will need to be reviewed by HR first. Ah…….. the light bulb is on now. So that’s what bothers her. ” why didn’t she say so???….”.
Knowing that I became more compassionate towards her. My annoyed feeling was subdued. I listened to her carefully, trying to brighten her mood even more. We ended the lunch on a much cheerful note. I was thinking about the whole thing while driving home. Mixed emotions – I realized sometimes being kind is more important than being right, and the afternoon lunch was a perfect example. If me holding my mouth from saying what was on my mind can help others feel better, why not? Not to the point, it will violate yourself, but choosing which battle to choose to take some bigger heart and conscious mind.
Arrived at home, my work was waiting for me. I worked on it and sent a note to my operations people. I apologize to him, I said I am sorry for yelling earlier. He was out at the golf charity event. Both of us feel so much better that evening. He must be under a lot of stress, having the same irregular sleep as myself, probably even worse, or maybe his wife getting upset from the nonstop phone call and work. I did not and don’t know exactly what he went through. Instead of being reactive, training myself to look from a different perspective will help me from wanting to kill someone :). I do realize I have short-tempered, not proud of it but surely need to regulate it better.
With a humble heart, I hope my learning and experience can help you that read my blog. It is so easy to want to be reactive, think about the consequences of reactiveness, Imagine Hydrochloric Acid- oh no! try to use perspective (I imagine it as glasses), wear your glasses, and assess the situation. Is it worth being reactive and forcing your idea of right, or is it better to be kind? My Mum said this often, in the world where you can be anything, choose to be kind always.
With so much love, XO
Bombon
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